


No Excuse

by panchostokes (badwolfrun)



Series: Prompt Fics [98]
Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27093031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfrun/pseuds/panchostokes
Summary: Nick ruins a moment, and possibly an entire relationship
Relationships: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Series: Prompt Fics [98]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1540795
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	No Excuse

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by an anon on tumblr to fill the prompt "I’ll fix this. I’ll fix us. just– please."
> 
> references to the babysitter thing.

Greg doesn’t raise his voice that often.

Or ever, really.

And never with anger--not to say the man doesn’t get frustrated, they all have their moments in this line of work where the rubber band is pulled too tight and they just _snap._

Sure, he’s made comments before, snide remarks and intense glares--even pushed Nick out of a desk chair once but that was at least partially in jest, knowing that Nick wouldn’t have allowed him to come up from behind and just do something like that.

But _yelling,_ with direction, _at_ Nick Stokes is not something Greg ever thought he would do. 

And Nick’s done some pretty stupid things. Displayed his internalized homophobia in extravagance, said ignorant comments, made dumb ass decisions--and Greg always excused it, chalked it up to the way Nick was raised, and with the comfort of knowing that he’s at least _trying_ to learn, to grow, to understand and move past his upbringing and live up to the great man Greg knows he can be. 

But he can’t excuse _this._

“I’ll fix this. I’ll fix _us._ Just--please--” Nick pleads, but Greg brushes past him--Nick blocks the exit, holding his hand high above his head against the door, keeping it closed despite Greg’s futile efforts to close the knob. The side of Greg’s body grinds up against Nick’s chest, Nick’s other arm tries to wrap itself around Greg, reel him in--he’s disgusted with himself knowing that this entrapping behavior is no different than that of the scumbags who corner their victims in such a way, all sense of intimacy and good intentions lost but there’s still _some_ part of Greg that still _wants_ him, right?

“You’re suffocating me,” Greg growls, and Nick immediately lets up, backing away so quickly he nearly knocks over his coat rack as Greg wastes no time in slamming the door behind him.

Nick pounds his fist against the door before he twists and slides against it, falling to the floor and replaying their shouting match over and over in his head, wondering where it went wrong, where _he_ went wrong--though he knows the answer, and just doesn’t want to admit it.

He’s gotta tell him. And it’s not that he doesn’t want to open up to his partner, doesn’t want to give him the same berth in the window of intimacy as Greg has given him since they seriously began a relationship--it’s not that he doesn’t _trust_ Greg, it’s more so that he...doesn’t trust himself, in a way. Has had his walls up for so long, that even the slightest crack makes him paranoid that it’s all going to just crash down and bury him, snuffing his life entirely while everybody sifts through the rubble without care.

It’s not an excuse, but he needs to offer an explanation for why he suddenly, violently, ruined a romantic moment with a growling threat, his ammunition for the attack being that of a derogatory term, before his hands slipped and pushed Greg away with such an intensely painful vigor--all because Greg touched the most sensitive spot in his body that hadn’t been penetrated by anybody since he was nine years old.

And no amount of apologies could ever make up for that.


End file.
